Dentist Who?

Hi. My name is Jeff Johnson. I am 36 years old, and I have, as of yet, never been to the dentist.

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Yes, you heard me right. Never. It’s not because I have avoided the dentist exactly, although of course I can’t say I would relish the idea of going. And I am sure that when (if?) I do finally see one, I will probably get quite a talking to. But the fact is, at least up until very recently, I simply haven’t needed to. You know:  no pain, no obvious holes anywhere, no discoloration, no loose teeth, no obvious gingivitis.

So, as someone who has for some time been less than thrilled with the standard philosophy and practice of established western medicine, I have found no incentive to see a dentist.

I suppose I should first of all address the question, how is it that you have been able to go for so long without a cavity or anything like that? That is, I have recently realized, a good question, and one I have given a bit of thought to this past week or so.  My parents were largely vegetarian when I was growing up, although in my early years we ate some meat. For the

Schee disch? Disch ish a toosch.

majority of my life until I moved away from home my menu was lacto-ovo vegetarian — that is, we ate milk and egg products. My parents have always been conscious about eating healthy, the biggest staples in our diet being whole grains and legumes, and hardly ever any refined sugar. We also always had the basic vitamin and mineral supplements, nothing super fancy. Also, my parents always insisted that we kids brushed our teeth after every meal or snack, no exceptions. And we never used fluoride, or even fluoridated toothpaste.

Those are the facts. If you want to know why I think I never had any cavities growing up,  I suspect it was probably just because I am totally awesome.  Just kidding.  I actually suspect that it was probably a combination of several things, primarily: a diet that was low in refined carbs and sugars as well as probably more alkalizing than the typical American diet (as opposed to acidizing, which among other things tends to leach minerals from the body — a subject for a different post);  the fact that we were so vigilant with tooth brushing; heredity (although both my parents had cavities); and, in contrast to joking about my awesomeness, I fully acknowledge God’s grace.

I guess I should also add one more thing: for a number of years as a kid, my family chewed a special kind of gum, that was actually originally called simply “Xylitol”, and was afterwards called “Xylifresh”. It was the first, and for a while the only, gum sweetened exclusively with xylitol. Xylifresh for some reason dropped out of the market at some point (in the U.S. anyway, it seems to have stayed strong in Finland, where it originated), and we never found a replacement.

Since I am running roughshod over my bedtime at this point, I will leave you with a brief leapfrog into the much more recent past. About a year and a half ago or so, I was driving on my way home from work, eating some taco-ish type thing from a fast food place, when a horrible pain shot up into one of my upper molars.

And with that nail-biting cliff-hanger, I bid you adieu, until next time.

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One Comment on “Dentist Who?”

  1. Miss Bethany Says:

    Disch is a comment…. I can’t wait for the next installment! What caused the terrible pain? If it was merely taco-ish, what was it? A chalupa, perhaps? Was the canoe wood or aluminum?


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